Causeway is committed to helping young men navigate life’s challenges…but our work doesn’t stop with them. That’s because we know that when families engage in family therapy and counseling, the potential for transformative change is immense.

In 2022, we added a focus on the family system to our resource offerings by hiring Nicole O’Brien, Ph.D., as Causeway’s chief clinical officer. A former professor of marriage and family therapy at Fairfield University and a practicing family therapist in Norwalk, Conn., she’s built a roster of Causeway family therapists who know that understanding a young man within the context of his family is essential.

“We can’t look at a young man in isolation,” says Nicole. “If we work with the young man but return him to an unchanged system, the same behaviors often resurface.” This insight forms the foundation of Causeway’s family systems approach, which is designed to foster long-term, sustainable change.

The Importance of Family Therapy

Roughly 60 percent of Causeway families opt into family therapy. When they fully engage with the process, Nicole says the changes their son makes are often much more sustainable. When families resist (or generally lack involvement), it can severely hinder their sons’ progress. “The system needs to evolve alongside the individual,” she notes, stressing that without family involvement, therapy’s effectiveness can be limited.

Given the increasing trend of young men living at home post-college, addressing family dynamics has become even more crucial. “We’re seeing full family systems living under one roof, so it’s important to attend to those dynamics if we want to see sustainable, long-term change,” says Nicole. Family therapy isn’t just an add-on; it’s a necessary component of the therapeutic journey for young men at Causeway.

…And The Risk Of Skipping It

Not all families are ready to dive into the complexities of therapy, and this hesitation can have lasting consequences. According to Nicole, some parents who do participate in family therapy struggle with resistance. “When parents come in with the belief that their son is the sole problem, this can be a perspective that keeps the family stuck,” she explains. It’s a mindset that can barricade progress, as it overlooks the vital role that family dynamics play in a young man’s behavior and development.

“It’s understandable,” she says, acknowledging that parents often resist boundary-setting or making changes at home because they’re overwhelmed or don’t know what to do.

Enter Causeway.

Key Parenting Strategies for Success

So how can you effectively support your son through his journey? Nicole offers three cornerstone strategies:

1. Curiosity Over Criticism: “Stay curious about your son’s world.” Instead of jumping to conclusions, ask questions, and show interest in what he’s thinking and feeling. You’ll build trust by helping him feel seen and heard.
2. Clarity and Boundaries Are Kindness: “Being clear about expectations (and being consistent with boundaries) is an act of love. It’s about setting the landscape so your son knows what to expect.” (A super-simple example? If you say the TV goes off at 8 p.m., stick to it. Consistency helps reduce power struggles.)
3. When Emotions Run High, You Stay Calm:  “If you can’t regulate your own emotions, it’s hard to help your son manage his,” Nicole explains. Keeping cool during a meltdown shows your son how to handle stress in a healthy way.

Silver Lining: It’s Never Too Late

Nicole’s final message to parents is all about hope. “I believe people have the capacity to change at any point in their life,” she says. “If you’re showing up, there’s a part of you that believes in the possibility of change.”

Family therapy at Causeway is about creating lasting, positive shifts in your family dynamic. It’s not a quick fix, but with commitment and the right strategies, meaningful change is within reach. We’re here to support you every step of the way. Click here to learn more.