Vince Benevento’s new book offers families a way forward

Something has gone wrong in the journey from boyhood to manhood.

Across the country, families are watching boys struggle in ways that feel both familiar and newly alarming. Anxiety is rising. Direction is harder to find. Many boys and young men feel disconnected from school, work, and relationships. As a result, many parents and caregivers are left wondering where to begin.

For nearly two decades, Vince Benevento has worked in the middle of that struggle. Through Causeway Collaborative, he has helped families find firmer footing as they support the boys and young men in their lives.

As Causeway’s founder, Vince and the team have helped more than 2,000 young men rebuild lives that had started to drift off course. Their model centers on mentorship, accountability and family engagement. In other words, Causeway moves beyond traditional therapy and into the real world, where growth actually happens.

Now Vince is bringing that philosophy to a wider audience with his new book, Boys Will Be Men: Eight Lessons for the Lost American Male. The Vince Benevento book arrives at a moment when many families are looking for practical help and a clearer path forward.

Why Vince Benevento wrote this book now

“I’ve been doing work with men and young men for upwards of 15 years,” Vince says. “I wanted to express what I’ve learned in a different way…to step outside the one-to-one framework and share those experiences more broadly.”

However, the timing is not only about his own career.

“I think people are craving this discussion,” he says. “Men and young men were struggling 15 years ago when I started Causeway, but they’re struggling in far more profound ways now. The data bears that out: college success, employment, relational satisfaction. Men and young men are not in a great place.”

That urgency shapes Boys Will Be Men. Vince does not write only as a therapist or mentor. He also writes as someone who has lived through many of the struggles he describes.

“I wrote this book wearing two different hats,” he says. “I wrote it from the perspective of a lost man still feeling the roots of being that lost young man in my soul, so the front half of the book speaks to the struggles I faced as a young man. The back half reflects what I’ve learned as a father, a husband and a man who had to take his licks along the way.”

Each of the book’s eight chapters draws from years of work with young men and families through Causeway’s mentorship-driven model. As a result, the book feels both personal and practical.

One lesson families can use right away

When asked which lesson parents and caregivers might focus on first, Vince points to one he calls Name It to Tame It.

“In order to master something, you have to name it,” he says. “The more we run from the things we’re ashamed of, the less command we have over our lives.”

For Vince, that lesson grows from his own experience confronting mental health and addiction.

“The more I suffered from the shame and stigma around it, the more I tried to pretend it wasn’t there,” he says. “The recipe for freedom was saying it out loud…accepting it and understanding it.”

That idea matters for families because boys often hide what hurts. Shame can make them quieter, more defensive or more withdrawn. Therefore, naming the struggle becomes the first step toward changing it.

“The best thing we can teach young men around mental health is to understand what they’re dealing with, without judgment and without stigma, so they can develop mastery over their lives,” Vince says.

Finding purpose, not just relief

Vince also hopes families pay attention to another lesson in the book: Finding Your Wild.

Many men in their 30s, 40s and 50s, he says, quietly feel that life has become mechanical, repetitive and depleted.

“They talk openly about how their lives feel repetitive, how they’ve lost the fire that used to be part of who they were,” Vince says. “They’re doing things they feel forced to do and not doing the things that nourish them.”

In Vince’s view, the answer is not escape. Instead, the answer is intentional engagement with life.

“Finding your wild is the quest for soul-nourishing activity: doing hard things, being in nature, pursuing something meaningful even if you might fail,” he says. “When men fill themselves first in those ways, they come back to their families fuller and stronger versions of themselves.”

That balance between accountability and compassion sits at the center of Vince’s work. It also shapes Causeway Collaborative, where he and his team help young men build resilience, responsibility and trust.

For families who already know Causeway, Boys Will Be Men offers a deeper look at the ideas behind the organization’s approach. For families discovering Vince for the first time, the book offers a clear introduction to a model that helps young men move from confusion and frustration toward purpose and accountability.

Sooner or later, Vince says, every young man has to decide what kind of man he will become. When families need help navigating that journey, Causeway Collaborative remains a place to begin.

Because boys do not stay boys forever.

Are you interested in connecting with someone at Causeway? Click here to learn more about our services.