January has a way of amplifying everything—especially for families supporting young men through winter.
The holidays end. Routines restart. Expectations return—often heavier than the clarity families hoped for.
For parents raising teenage and college-age kids—especially sons—this time of year can bring urgent questions about motivation, direction, and how best to help a young man who seems stuck.
Can you relate? If so, you’re not alone. According to Causeway Collaborative’s founder Vince Benevento, these feelings aren’t a sign that something has gone wrong. They’re a predictable response to pressure, possibility, and uncertainty—and a reminder that supporting young men through winter requires steadiness more than urgency.
“I think people put a lot of energy into starting anew,” Vince says. “People self-examine, look backwards, are intimidated by looking forward at the year to come … and at the scope of the opportunities.”
Understanding why January feels so hard can help families replace panic with perspective—and make decisions rooted in evidence, not fear.
Why Supporting Young Men Through Winter Feels So Hard
Vince often sees families arrive in January feeling overwhelmed by wanting to change but not knowing how to start.
Noting that many of the people Causeway’s therapeutic mentors and family coaches work with have historically struggled with motivation and initiating change, one of the most common patterns Vince sees is goal-setting that skips reality. (We’re looking at you, New Year’s resolutions.)
“People aim too high or establish goals that are above their capacity or threshold,” Vince says. “Why would you set yourself up to fail literally day one of the year?”
At the same time, Vince notes that realistic goals can feel discouraging if they don’t align with who a young man believes he should be by now.
“Sometimes, when you’re honest with yourself and you set a goal that’s actually aligned with where you are, that doesn’t feel good because it’s too different from who you once were.”
The shift, Vince says, is learning to value movement over perfection.
“Radical transparency about taking a step in any direction is the right goal. Not aiming too high, not aiming too low … just be honest about taking a step. Doesn’t matter.”
Supporting College-Age Young Men Through Winter Decisions
For families with college-age sons, January often centers on the elephant-in-the-room question: Should he go back to school, or should he stay home?
Vince is clear that this decision shouldn’t be driven by fear, shame, or hope alone. Instead, it should be an evaluation of what a young man has done of late.
For families under Causeway’s guidance, that evaluation looks across multiple domains:
• Academic performance
• Social connection and sense of belonging
• Behavioral changes, including substance use
• Sleep, mood, and overall functioning
“We conduct a multifactorial analysis,” Vince explains, “mostly rooted in the data of how are the grades and how does he do, socially.”
If a young man does stay home, structure matters immediately.
“There’s typically a very immediate discussion around what alternatives exist,” Vince says. In practice, that conversation might sound like: Here are three options you could do instead. We’ll let you choose.
If a young man in Causeway’s care does return to school, support continues well beyond move-in day. “We never drop a kid before he goes back,” Vince adds. “We work with families six to eight weeks into the semester to ensure reintegration goes well.”
As these tough conversations unfold, Vince offers a grounding reframe: “These decisions aren’t forever decisions. They’re the next decisions.”
That perspective alone can ease anxiety—for young men and the adults who care about them.
How Parents Can Support Young Men Through Winter in High School
For high school boys, Vince notes that winter brings its own challenges: shorter days, less movement, fewer natural outlets, and a real dip in motivation. Especially in Connecticut, where Causeway is headquartered.
“It’s the winter…it’s been dark out at 4:30 for two months,” he says. “You’re going to have a seasonal affective response from a motivation or depression perspective.”
His advice is direct and practical:
• Do something physical every day
• Increase structure rather than loosen it
• Stay engaged in purposeful activity
“Spend more time doing things that are productive and make you feel good,” Vince says. “Do rather than sit and scroll on your phone, because that’s going to make you feel a lot worse in this season.”
For families supporting young men through winter, Vince emphasizes that consistency—not inspiration—is what carries young guys forward.
(Pro tip: It carries parents forward, too.)
Three Things a Day That Help—No Matter Your Age
When Vince talks about structure, he’s not speaking theoretically: His perspective is shaped by years of clinical work and also while navigating a profoundly difficult family season—one that required finding small pockets of control amid uncertainty.
It was during that time that he returned again and again to a simple framework grounded in action and agency:
“Do three things that make you feel good every day…and one of them has to be physical activity,” Vince says. “Then, pick the other two things, do them for a half hour a day (no matter what) and make sure they get done every single day.”
These daily anchors help restore a sense of control when circumstances feel overwhelming.
How Causeway Helps Families Navigate Winter with Clarity
For families supporting young men through winter, January doesn’t have to be endured alone—and it doesn’t have to define the year ahead.
Causeway Collaborative was built for moments like winter, when families need structure, perspective, and a plan that fits the young man in front of them.
“The vision for Causeway was to create a space for men and young men that would have been what I would have wanted when I was young and struggling,” Vince says.
Through mentoring, family coaching, and individualized planning, Causeway helps young men:
• Build autonomy
• Learn authentic relationship
• Navigate today’s challenges with guidance rather than judgment
Need Support? We’ve Got You.
Causeway Collaborative works with young men ages 14–22 and their families to create structured, personalized pathways forward. Learn more about mentoring, family coaching, and how Causeway can help your family navigate this season with clarity and confidence.